Review: The Machine Girl

If I were to say that The Machine Girl is one of the stupidest, worst films I’ve seen in a while, would you actually accept my argument? After all, I just willingly watched a film about a Japanese school girl with a machine gun for an arm, what did I expect??

So, school children born into the Yakuza gang bully and kill two kids, one of whom is Ami’s brother, and in a fit of vengeance she sets out to kill the Yakuza leader only to have her arm sliced off. This barely slows her down as she straps on a custom machine gun and goes right back into battle!

I don’t even know. It is terrible, campy, nonsense. It is like the producer/director just discovered red paint and how you can spray it out of tubes; the entire film (from two minutes in) has bloody stumps spraying red water about like a malfunctioning sprinkler system!
The music is terrible, the direction is terrible, the costumes are terrible (you can virtually see her real arm tied behind her back in some shots) and while it simply becomes loony toons at the end (a drill bra, okay, I get the tone of this film now!) there wasn’t any distinction for the first half… it was pretty boring really, enough to put me off for the rest of it.

More budget and this could have been passable as a silly, ultra-violent action film, or at least give us some reason why this school girl can take out three ninjas who cannot hit the broadside of a mountain! All we see is that she throws basketballs well, and handles a scythe, this means she completely owns ninjas!?

I know I am looking into this too much. I’m sure if you are drunk and/or with lots of friends, The Machine Girl is the brainless entertainment required; they spared no expense with the red paint and zany murdering here.

Nothing here but camp ultra-violence.


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