Review: The Human Centipede

(Originally published October 2011)
Well friends, family and welcomed viewers, I have sacrificed a small part of my mind to give you my impression of a film that has single-handedly defined a generation of movie goers’ limitations… A film I was genuinely afraid of watching and took a day of mental preparation for.

What do I think? Surprisingly underwhelming… in a gross way.

I will get the worst part out of the way first: the premise. Two girls find themselves abducted (along with a very angry Japanese man) by a deranged German surgeon who has a sick fascination with “the human centipede”; a surgical experiment that links three or more people via their digestive tract… Yes, the film goes that far.

Now… my telling you this is really the worst thing about this movie, and will decide if you want to see it. The premise is unspeakably gross and inhuman, yet the film itself is… visually sparing of details. For example, I knew the worst aspect for me would be the “cutting of knee tendons, the removal of teeth and” errr… attachment. Yet this part is barely worse visually than any of the Saw movies. I’d probably say Saw is gorier to watch and personally Oldboy had a worst tooth-removal scene (and I love that film). The actual “centipede” is just weird to see, and the “connections” are obscured by bandages, sparing the viewer of the truly hideous visuals.

Do I therefore recommend it despite people’s fear of it? Absolutely not. I wouldn’t suggest anyone watch it without a very clear understanding of what’s involved. The film is a mental barrage, it is quite poor in actual quality or storytelling; falling into typical slasher horror clichés. The two girls were pretty pathetic, while the surgeon had the only interesting presence.

And two cups of cocoa does not mean I liked it that much. It has two since its well… unusual and bold in its own sick way.


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