Director Ridley Scott returns to the franchise he created, and boy howdy has he forgotten how to build suspense. The colony ship Covenant, housing over 2,000 people in suspended animation, experiences technical difficulties in its long voyage and at the same time, detects another habitable world and a strange signal originating from it. Looking at a…
Review: Prometheus
It isn’t often I re-review a film, but boy, is Prometheus a strange beast… Set in the not-too-distant future of 2094, a scientific research vessel explores a distant planet in the hopes of discovering the origins of the human race; a race of beings responsible for seeding life on Earth. But when they get there, they…
Review: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2D)
Remarkably untethered to the greater MCU, the sequel expands the first although doesn’t rise above it. Running as heroes for hire, the Guardians of the Galaxy find themselves in trouble from all angles: a client, The Sovereign, want them dead, as do the mercenary outfit The Ravagers. But for 80s junkie and all around space…
Review: Wiener-Dog
Comedy is no more subjective than it is in black comedies. As an anthology experience, we follow one dachshund “Wiener” dog as it moves from one owner to the next by some invisible hand of fate. But each owner has a different story to tell; quirky, lost and disillusioned all of them. Oh, it’s one of these…
Review: The Autopsy of Jane Doe
Squeamish about surgery or morgues? Probably want to stay away from this devilishly detailed horror. When small town police find a house filled with murder victims and one strangely preserved corpse half buried in the basement, they have the mysterious body sent to the local morgue and crematorium. There, a father and son team of…
Review: Assassin’s Creed
They somehow made a convoluted video game narrative more convoluted. Set in present day, after being executed by lethal injection, Cal Lynch wakes up at the mercy of a high-tech organisation created to dissolve violent tendencies in humans. They know of an ancient artifact called The Apple of Eden, that can do this, but to…
Review: The Void
I’ve seen some $#!t… When a police officer stumbles across a drug addict by the road and takes him to the nearby hospital, he quickly finds himself and a handful of others quickly under siege by mysterious hooded figures. But what’s worse is the strangers appear to be preventing them from escaping… as an inhuman terror…
Duo Review: Death Race (1975, 2017)
Death Race 2000 (1975) A product of it’s time, Death Race 2000 is something you cannot replicate today. In the heady time of the year 2000, America has become ruled by a dictatorship, spurred on by a financial crash in 1979, and has developed the Transcontinental Road Race, a motorised blood sport inspired by gladitorial…
Review: Fast and Furious 8 (aka The Fate of the Furious)
All principles be damned. When a super hacker is bent on starting World War Three, stealing an EMP device and codes to nuclear weapons isn’t enough, she needs street racer and all around family guy, Dominic Toretto, on her side. Oh noes, the trailer shows Dom turning against his “family”. Whatever is going to happen next? The…
Trilogy Review: Death Race (2008, 2010, 2013)
Death Race (2008) The remake of the David Carradine 1975 film is surprisingly star studded and overall a good piece of vehicular entertainment. In the heady future of 2012… Jason Statham plays Jensen Ames (“like the car”) an ex-con working in a steel factory who’s world is turned upside down when he is framed for…