Review: Terminator Genisys (2D)

So it finally happened, the studios bent the Terminator over their knee and snapped it in half like a twig, making the entire series feel about as relevant in the process.

From what one can gather from the plot, when Kyle Reese is sent back in time to protect Sarah Connor from a cyborg assassin known as a Terminator, he discovers a new timeline from what we are familiar with from the 1984 The Terminator film. Sarah has been protected by another Terminator since she was nine. Now this new trio must do battle with multiple enemies in a final effort to stop the apocalyptic artificial intelligence Skynet from being created.

Terminator Genisys is a travesty of gargantuan proportions, not just because it is the total undermining of two of cinema’s finest achievements (that isn’t just me saying that, it is fact) but it is a terrible action film with one ugly script and no heart.

Within the first thirty minutes this film compacts the first two movies: we get a jumble of action sequences that set the tone; we get shot-for-shot scenes of The Terminator‘s 1984 arrival (neatly halted before any actual gore occurs, befitting of this trashy 12A nightmare) we get regular Terminators, we get T-1000s we get old Arnie, we get future war scenes. All packed so tightly it is a complete mess; like watching a 30-minute Youtube video of “all the best Terminator fights from all of the movies”, and about as well edited.

That’s only the start! It doesn’t let up. As evident of the script, this film cannot rely on talking; when it does it descends into a constant stream of time-travel mumbo-jumbo and critically spark-less┬áchemistry between our main protagonists Reese and Connor. While Game of Thrones star Emilia Clarke isn’t bad as Sarah, she has such a young face that when coupled with her “I’m a soldier, grr-grr I am strong and I don’t need you” attitude, she comes off like a brat at times. No fault of hers, the script made her that way. This is no Terminator 2 Linda Hamilton.
Then there’s Jai Courtney… who I don’t think studied who Kyle Reese actually is before walking on set. There’s nothing behind his performance, and this is not the Kyle Reese we all know – critically his character should be the exact same as Michael Biehn, he’s the only one this new timeline hasn’t altered.
Arnold’s reprise of The Terminator is… quite average actually. At worst he is The Expendables answer to this franchise: the catchphrase “Old, but not obsolete” is thrown around liberally. The film prefers to stick with the Connor/Reese romance, occasionally throwing Arnold in to glare at them, asking Sarah: “Have you mated with him yet?” All of his lines are okay, but they are all used at least twice!

You could go on and on about how bad this film is, the layers upon layers of nonsense, but it is often best to use broad strokes.
Genisys, in my opinion, is the worst Terminator film made to date. When a film looks bad from the trailer, the poster and even the promotional material and lives up to that, you know it is failure.

Additional Marshmallows: I don’t know why JK Simmons is in this film.

Additional, Additional Marshmallows: What they do to Skynet is worse than Helena-Boham Carter in Terminator Salvation.

Additional, additional marshmallows: During the nonstop opening thirty minutes we get a “tense” moment that involves molecular acid. The scene is so poorly established that I wouldn’t have been surprised if a xenomorph from Aliens was about to jump out.

Additional, additional, additional marshmallows: This trailer spoils everything about the film. You can watch it and make the film null and void, or avoid watching it and maybe give the film a chance. I am adding this trailer because it is proof they did not care about this film’s promotion, even the poster spoils the film!

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