2024 has been a real rollercoaster of movie quality. Sometimes it swings one way or the other, but this time it has been fairly samey with big swings and big misses. For every Monkey Man there was a Borderlands.
The samey-ness came from Hollywood just churning out unnecessary stuff. A sequel to Beetlejuice? A sequel to Gladiator? Why? Even Furiosa, a prequel to the awesome Mad Max: Fury Road, felt a little underwhelming in some ways.
But personally, 2024 feels like something broke in me. A tolerance of bad movies was missing. Namely, you will not find the following on this list: Red One, Madam Web, and Kraven the Hunter. I just couldn’t bring myself. Not only were they being tracked as genuinely bad, but I simply had no investment in critiquing them.
But don’t worry, there were other bad films this year that did capture my attention.
Otherwise, I got to experience some truly unique movies this year. Some real head turners.
So enjoy this list of my 2024 movies! As usual I am sorry if your favourite didn’t make it, or didn’t rate high enough.
Unless your favourite was Madam Web. What’s wrong with you?
———————————————————
The Best!
1. The Holdovers
Read the full review here
The Holdovers was such a long time ago. It released in the US sensibly at Christmas time 2023. However, the UK got this movie in January 2024. So it is on this list!
The story is set in 1970s Christmas time, with a boys boarding school having to house kids with no family to return to for Christmas. The titular “holdovers”. Their guardians being the school’s cook, and a teacher better described as a bitter curmudgeon. Will any of these lonely, sorry individuals find sympathy or empathy?
The film is an absolute delight. A humorous, moving, and heartfelt story with a mellow honesty shot through it. There’s slapstick comedy, there’s Paul Giamatti doing his absolute best. There is the most genuine and positive melting of cold hearts. Directed by Alexander Payne (Sideways) the film presents itself with the impressionistic style of film grain, which is popular these days but is a welcome addition here. Watching The Holdovers is like finding a time capsule. A lost classic no one told you about.
It is quite possibly a new favourite Christmas movie, and throughout the year… nothing else quite made me feel so cosy and entertained as it.
2. The Wild Robot
Read the full review here
I still cannot get over how pretty this movie was.
Directed by How to Train Your Dragon creator Chris Sanders, The Wild Robot is a perfect animated movie. It has emotionally charged storytelling, cute characters, wisdom, peril, and just the best darn animation.
Starring Lupita Nyong’o, Pedro Pascal, and Catherine O’Hara, the story follows a lost robot designed to serve humans. But with no humans around, they attempt to serve the wild animals of the forest, including a baby duck, with mixed results.
Sure, the “robot learns to love” story is tried-and-true. But this hit me right in the sentimental feels multiple times. The characters aren’t zany Dreamworks characters; more often they are emotionally resonant foils for one another. None of its feels wasteful or unnecessary. If you haven’t seen it and want to, watch it this holiday season! If you aren’t interested, watch it anyway! You might be surprised.
Why isn’t it number one? …
I am mortally afraid of recency bias. It is that close.
3. Monkey Man
Read the full review here
I was feeling a bit under the weather when watching Monkey Man. That didn’t stop me from having an excellent time with it. Short description: John Wick but in India. Longer description: Dev Patel’s directorial debut (and also lead star) that was years in development, rescued by Jordan Peele, an ultra-violent action revenge movie.
A great movie with a good story behind its development. Patel absolutely shines in the director role and as a rippling close quarters fighter. This is everything John Wick was, only with added Indian culture, heritage, and mysticism layered on top.
If you are a fan of action movies and you’ve not seen Monkey Man, what are you doing with your life? Go see it right now!
4. Dune: Part 2
Read the full review here
I really look forward to watching all three movies back-to-back one day.
Luckily, Denis Villeneuve’s Dune was successful enough that the studios greenlit its sequels. Dune: Part 2 follows the second half of Frank Herbert’s science fiction book Dune. We see a united front form on Arrakis to depose the Harkonnen rule over the planet, but more than that, we see Paul’s (Timothée Chalamet) descent into prescience state of being.
The first part of Dune (2021) was my film of that year. Dune: Part 2 doesn’t quite manage that height. It is excellent, and coupled with its predecessor it perfectly represents the book. Justin Butler as Fayd was terribly accurate. Visually and audibly the whole film is masterful.
They did change some aspects, though. Hopefully the third movie (the second book adaptation) validates these changes. Also Christopher Walken as Emperor Shaddam IV… What…?
5. The Substance
Read the full review here
I have two films now that left me feeling utterly overwhelmed. The first being The Substance.
Never would I have thought a body-horror film would be in the top five, but here we are. With an intense and visceral trailer, the movie is equally so. Directed by Coralie Fargeat, starring an excellent Demi Moore and Margaret Qualley, the film is both sexy and utterly repulsive. It is both classic horror movie tropes, and extremely important narratives.
Following Elizabeth Sparkle, an actor who’s fame as waned with age, she hopes to get one over the pig-headed producers and be young again. But to do so, she must take The Substance. What follows is a real monkey’s paw situation. And it does not end gracefully.
I’ve not felt so simultaneously invested and repulsed by a movie before. Moore’s performance is wonderfully layered and comes from deep, deep passion and conviction. The film lures you into its embrace with subtext of mistreated women in entertainment… then sucker punches you with graphic horror. All with slick, modern film-making and excellent performances.
6. Poor Things
Read the full review here
Getting its wide release in the UK early this year, Poor Things certainly was divisive. Via trailers it looked to be a surrealist period drama, but in reality it being a sexually-charged monster movie. Director Yorgos Lanthimos put himself on the map by unconditionally scarring family units across the globe, with unwitting young adults watching this with their parents.
Emma Stone is Bella, a woman rescued from death by a mad scientist (Willem Dafoe) and who’s child-brain inhabits an adult body. Genuinely, Poor Things would have been even higher on this list had it not been so wilfully misleading in its premise.
It is a visually fantastic movie. At times bringing back memories of old Terry Gilliam movies of the 1980s and 1990s. Stone, Dafoe, and especially Mark Ruffalo, bring excellent performances across the board. It is one of the strangest, most perplexingly titillating movies I’ve ever seen. And while it certainly deserves some criticism for its waylaid audience members (and its questionable ending) it certainly will not be forgotten. It is wild, lustful, very funny, tragic, sad, and vexing.
7. The Fall Guy
Read the full review here
Poor, unfortunate The Fall Guy.
I’m not sure why it deserved such a beating at the box office, but it sparked some serious debate about why “good films are failing”, and the state of cinema generally. Ryan Gosling plays a stuntman who is recruited to find the movie’s AWOL lead star, only to find himself in hot water.
This delightful action romantic comedy is a breed not often seen these days. Gosling and Emily Blunt have great on-again-off-again chemistry, with Blunt playing the movie’s director. The literal director, David Leitch, gave us the excellent Bullet Train and Deadpool 2. Plus he is also a stuntman; so you can bet a lot of the action in The Fall Guy is shot in-camera without relying on CGI. Gosling himself was keen to do a lot of the stunts, but even then, the film ends with credits showing the stunts being carried out.
If you missed it, The Fall Guy is sure to put a smile on your face for an evening. It is explosive, humorous, good old fashioned movie-making.
8. Inside Out 2
Read the full review here
It has been a while, hasn’t it Disney? Been a while since you graced the top 10 list.
But sometimes we should appreciate effort when it is presented to us, and Inside Out 2 surprised a lot of people when it released.
Lead character Riley is going through puberty, and her emotions are going wild. But more than that; new emotions are here. Anxiety, Ennui, Envy, and Embarrassment. Classic teenage emotions. The film still has the tremendously colourful and creative visuals and vibe of the first film, despite the director (and some cast) change. It tackles a lot of tough topics, and while it isn’t as emotionally devastating as the first film, you’ll still get a lump in your throat.
In a time when Disney is obsessed with sequels, and a lot of them are unnecessary, Inside Out 2 stands out as one of the relevant ones.
9. Cuckoo
Read the full review here
Another horror movie!
And to think, I almost didn’t go to see Cuckoo.
Set in the German countryside, a estranged family unit move house so the parents can work on architectural business. But Gretchen, the older child, is reluctant to fit in. While considering running away, terrifying things quickly start to happen.
The best horror films can use tension and pacing to maximum effect. Cuckoo is one such film. While it does have classic tropes of the genre, pacing itself with regular moody scenes of family angst and teenage drama, gives the film a real sense of ennui. Everything goes steadily worse and worse. It isn’t a ludicrous third act… well, it is, but the pacing leads us there with great precision and intelligence.
It is unique in an otherwise cluttered genre. If you want a “classic” horror experience with masterful hands on the wheel. Definitely look out for Cuckoo. You won’t forget it.
10. Heretic
Read the full review here
Strong, strong year for horror. Or perhaps more inventive screenplays are appearing in more risqué genres. Heretic is presenting Hugh Grant as the creepy antagonist, praying on two religious women. But somewhat surprisingly, the film isn’t about murder-a-minute, or jump scares, or even monsters. No, in fact it is written as a cerebral discussion and dissection of religious beliefs.
The premise is full of tension, of course. But tension is the best kind of horror; it is less obvious, less predictable. More insidious. Grant’s performance is magnetic as both sides of the argument can be seen as justified.
And unlike many horrors, its pacing doesn’t go completely off the rails in the third act. It still manages to escalate neatly. Good effort.
———————————————————
The mid-fielders!
Neither good nor bad exactly
Alien: Romulus
Wicked Little Letters
Wicked (Part 1)
Abigail
The Bikeriders
Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga
Deadpool & Wolverine
Bob Marley: One Love
Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes
Transformers One
Late Night with the Devil
Beetlejuice Beetlejuice
Twisters
Longlegs
Boy Kills World
Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire
———————————————————
The Worst
10. Trap
Read the full review here
I didn’t hate Trap. Even though under any amount of scrutiny it is an absurd concept. The trailer promises a lot, but the film’s execution leaves the audience wanting.
Director M. Night Shyamalan is a divisive creative; and it is understandable why people don’t like his movies. Characters often act in a surrealist manner, usually to keep the plot going. There’s usually a twist, or a third act heel-turn or pacing shift. It was fun to see Josh Hartnett on the big screen in a role like this.
Maybe it is a place or two too high on this list. But at the time it was a fun experience. Even if it is just a nepotistic vehicle for Shyamalan’s own family.
9. Kinds of Kindness
Read the full review here
Definitely not warranted to be in a “worst” movies list… Perhaps I should have watched Red One just to spare films like these the disservice. But Kinds of Kindness was just plain weird. Sorry Jesse Plemons, you are an excellent actor who deserves more attention, but this isn’t the last time you are in this list.
Kinds of Kindness is a surrealist mindscape following different characters in different scenarios played by the same actors.
Following adult themes of toxic and damaging relationships, from personal to religious to indoctrinated, the film’s eerie quietness lends the audience need to make their own opinions. It is fascinating. Emma Stone is magnetic. But just… prepare to be befuddled.
Director Yorgos Lanthimos is at the top and bottom of this list now.
8. Civil War
Read the full review here
Oh boy. Another one that’s definitely not bad, but wound up in the bottom ten. Visionary writer/director Alex Garland isn’t running so hot right now. Men was suitably unconvincing, and now we have Civil War; marketed as “shocking” but ultimately is underwhelming.
Intent on a neutral standing but depicting a politically ravaged America, Civil War shows a future through the lens of war photographers. Is it right wing or left wing politics that caused this catastrophe? That answer is in the eye of the beholder.
Perhaps living in the UK, and expecting more edge from Garland, it left me disinterested. The majority of the film could have been from a zombie movie. While some of the most “shocking” scenes include a red-neck soldier killing a man because he was from China.
Never. Saw. That. Coming.
7. Joker: Folie à Deux
Read the full review here
Maybe one day Joker: Folie à Deux will be seen as an excellent subversion of cultural zeitgeists, but for now… I just didn’t feel it. Not even because it was a musical, but because it operated more like an extended epilogue to the first film. This sequel feels long, and flies in opposition to the ending of its predecessor, deliberately suggesting we feel bad for liking it.
There is very little desire to rewatch Joker, but at the time it was a blast of fresh air in a stagnating comic-book movie genre. Joker 2 feels completely unnecessary, and wilfully damaging to its originator.
6. Night Swim
Read the full review here
The horror genre is incredibly strong these days. As evident by this list. But Night Swim really floundered. The “haunted swimming pool” is generally more laughable than most premises, but I speak as a defender of the movie. It was the first film I saw in 2024, and at the time it wasn’t that bad. No matter what its detractors say.
But there isn’t really much to say about it. The premise is setup well; with a family moving in as the father is looking for some hydrotherapy. Haunted swimming pool is quietly seducing people into its depths. As someone who doesn’t especially like pools or being submerged, y’know, it was effective at times!
5. Argylle
Read the full review here
Ahhh, remember when Argylle was the worst movie in 2024? Good times.
Director Matthew Vaughn really needs to get his act together and stop with these “extended universe” movies. He isn’t succeeding.
As a writer, the premise of an espionage writer being the target of a intelligence syndicate because her books are too accurate, is interesting! It really carries a lot of weight. But when that weight is a tumbling mass of dross, a premise isn’t enough to save it from the bottom 10.
Catherine O’Hara, Bryan Cranston, Henry Cavill, and Sam Rockwell cannot save it. Meanwhile Samuel L Jackson is here to nip any sense Vaughn’s “expanded universe” has in the bud.
Obvious CGI is obvious. Action sequences are weightless and meaningless. Continuous twists and turns. All of it makes you tired and numb by the third act. A marketing campaign reliant on a CGI cat did not help matters.
4. Megalopolis
Read the full review here
What can be said about legendary director Francis Ford Coppola’s magnum opus? At least, what hasn’t been said already. A film that deconstructs the tired phrase “we live in a society” with visuals 25 years too late. Clunky and cliché screenwriting. Gaudy and self-congratulatory allegories about The Fall of Rome.
The story that art is the saviour, that artists are the true spokespeople in humanity. Fair enough. Real creativity, especially in this age of computerised art theft; the belittling of the creative process, should be praised. But not like this. Not when your story suggests it “just works”. Boom. Now you have travellators and the world is saved. Even Adam Driver was powerless to save this film, while Laurence Fishburne’s gravely tones re-enacts his Morpheus role from The Matrix.
Will it one day be seen favourably? Will the AI-generated trailer prove true, and the rest of us false? It seems unlikely. This sci-fi cerebral haemorrhage had people walking out of the cinema while it has its cake and eats it too.
3. Rebel Moon: Part 2 – Scargiver
Read the full review here
What even happened in this one? Checks notes….
Rebel Moon Part One was an empty, grey action movie that stole from as many sources as possible. But hey, Part Two will make it worthwhile. Right? Zack Snyder proves again at his incompetency at writing compelling characters and stories. Part Two rehashes the premise of Part One, while barely evolving anything in the process. Our group of characters get their backstories told… in flashback. While sitting around a table. The lack of care and credibility is astounding.
Not to mention this film having the single worst example of diegetic sound design I have ever seen (and hopefully will ever see)
The only blessing is that these films are on streaming and I didn’t need to leave the house for the displeasure.
2. Borderlands
Read the full review here
No, it isn’t dead last. But it is mighty close to it.
Borderlands is what video game adaptations try so hard to not be. A noisy, edited-to-Swiss cheese, boring, irreverent nonsense. A video game that didn’t have much story (player goes to find treasure, crazy people are everywhere) it did have one thing: guns. For a film about such a game… the action sequences and weapons are criminally under-portrayed and disastrously implemented. The story, whatever it was, became irrelevant and audiences immediately turn their brains off.
Studio meddling led to rewrites and most of director Eli Roth’s signature gore being edited out. Again, it is a very violent video game. Who is this film designed for again?
Don’t worry, game developers Gear Box announced Borderlands 4 shortly after. Hmm. Not sure about that…
It does seem like Cate Blanchette and Jamie Lee Curtis are at least having fun. 50 or 60 year old actors should be allowed to play these sorts of roles. But… not in this story. Not like this.
1. The Crow (2024)
Read the full review here
Euugh, I’m the Crow, I’m so edgy, euugh. Devil horns. Eugh, remember that film from the 90s? It was so edgy and goth. Let’s do that again only with mobile phones. Euugh.
This film is a travesty. The worst kind of studio mandated rubbish. For the love of Brandon Lee, please watch the original The Crow from 1995 and not this. Don’t even take this “Worst film” listing as a fetishistic suggestion to watch it. This doesn’t deserve to exist. It is a waste of digital memory. It takes so long to say nothing. Some committee said: “Oh, The Crow, that was an ultra-violent goth movie,” and just went with that and “remade” it.
A remake, generally, should be an improvement. Or at least be an interesting retelling. This is neither. Who wants to see cool crow-based magic and mythos when you can just… use mobile phones?
And you know, they could have just named the characters differently. That’s all it would have taken. It wouldn’t be worse than Borderlands if they just had a different Crow.